This is me...

Why is it "I'm fine :)" escapes my lips regardless of the situation I'm in, the person who's asking and the context he/she is referring to? Why is it that this question makes me want to sit and ponder, even when superficially I feel quite alright? Why is it that I rush to my best friends, wanting to think aloud and talk it through, but at the same time afraid that they'll think it's another one of my crazy, sad days? Why is it that half the thoughts in my mind are left unsaid only because of the fear that the person will feel overburdened by my seemingly insignificant problems? Why is it that this fear is much greater when the said person is a dear, dear friend, whose opinion matters more to me than that of an acquaintances'? Why is it that these 3 words send me in a spiral maze of emotions I can not make any sense of?

When did we become so busy that our conversations changed from "oh you know what happened today?" to "it's a long story, I'll tell you sometime later." When did we become so different that we started feeling there was no point of sharing those little, minute details of our daily lives with each other? When did we grow so apart that we came to know even the major things in each other's lives either from someone else or much after they'd occurred? When did we become so insecure that we stopped telling each other their flaws? When did we fall out of love, and didn't even realize it?

Going through this blog, I realised it is terribly serious! So here, my friends, is another poem from the archives!  This is an acrostic poem. The first letters of the lines of the poem first spell the 12 months of the year and then the 7 days of the weeks in their short form! I had great fun writing this one. J ulian was his name A nd he was a smart kid too N othing was there that he couldn’t do F lowers were his favorite E nthusiastic he remained always; about planting new ones B ut, as he was a gentle boy, he was very afraid of violence and guns M other of his was a sweet lady A nd his father was a hardworking man R osy was his sister and they had a nice house and a nicer van A ll the people he knew were his great friends, P oor or rich he played with everyone and R arely did they not have fun M ark was his best friend A nd he was a fun (and handy) guy to be around Y es indeed, there was nothing that he couldn’t mend! J ulian was...

I recently came across a poem I’d written way back in 2012. At that time, it was based purely on imagination- as I imagined what it would feel like when a bond broke. Today, I know that feeling. Here is the poem, raw as it was written in 2012. It is not very refined, but it is what it is and I am what I am. As I stand in the rain, The water washes away my pain And I smile remembering the good old days. As I stand in the rain, The water sweeps in the drain And I sigh remembering the nearly caught train. As I stand in the rain, I watch a passing dame And I laugh remembering the jokes which were so lame The rain stops, And the world moves on. But I keep standing there, Remembering the life we used to share. The world shouts at me, Tell me it’s high time I forgot. But I know I just can't As I stare at the ring you bought. It has a forget-me-not on it, And as I watch, it begins to lit. You told me to keep it always with me, As we s...

Ever since I first entered the Harry Potter world, I was taken by the sheer charm of it. I loved every minute of the journey. While I was terribly sad when it ended, I wasn’t dissatisfied. The characters were incredibly developed. We saw them growing up, even if we did not actually grow up with them (people like me who read the series in a matter of weeks). We knew their flaws, we knew their greatness. And we’d seen them acquire these. I can’t stress this enough- we knew all the characters so deeply that we could have stated what they’ll do/say in a situation exactly. There was no rush. The story spanned 7 years and Rowling took it forward at a brilliant pace. Everything was told as it was, clearly with details. As the storyline developed, the characters grew and developed and we came to identify with them. There were no “how is this possible?” or “that is too farfetched” or “where did that come from?” moments in the story. Every concept was superbly explained and executed. ...

Looking back at the last blog post, I was terribly depressed. As I had expected, I didn't get into any medical college and instead found a tolerable Bsc Hons course which I joined. I wasn't terribly happy back then, and certainly not satisfied with my life. July 2015 I entered college as a mess. I certainly might have seemed calm and confident outside, but inside, I was a self doubting, under-confident mess. It didn't help that though my course was one of the best, the college wasn't very much so. An off campus college, very far away from home- nobody I knew had even heard of Acharya Narendra Dev College. For a long time I couldn't even find people I really, really liked over there; which was very upsetting since I was losing touch with my school friends. Then ECPDT happened. It was a "personality development through theatre" course I joined just for the sake of doing something other than academics in college. I didn't know then that I would meet...

Today, while I sit and write this, I feel completely changed. I am not the person I was a few months ago. Now I've seen failure. Now I know what it is like in the real world, in the world outside my school. Now I have an uncertain future. No, I've not had the dream of becoming a doctor since forever. On the contrary, the people who've known me since childhood will tell you how I've always hated this profession. To be honest, I still do. I hate going to a doctor. I have a bias against them. A bias which has formed over the years, hearing various stories of drudgery and cheating. Today I honestly can't remember why I decided to become a doctor. Maybe it was because my nearly perfect world was shaken when a friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer and my Nanaji died due to multiple diseases. Maybe it was because I wanted to prove to the world, to myself, that I can do it. That I can study the toughest course and emerge victorious. Maybe it was because I wanted to ...

I sit atop the hilltop Bathing in the dim moonlight, and see The once-vast stretches of forests, now chopped down, By man, to sustain the crowded country I walk around the streets Alone amidst the crowd, and see The once-lively faces of people, now distorted, By their busy lives, to broody I stroll around in the park Taking in the ignored greenery, and see The once-playful and naughty kids, now at home, Captured by technology, engrossed in their PSP I stand on the terrace of a skyscraper Breathing in the polluted air, and see The once-united society, now divided into two, Some dying of hunger, and some drowning in money I hasten down the shady street Hiding myself in the open, and see The once-safe late night strolls, now rushed, Due to spread of criminal minds, lacking humanity I lie down on my comfortable bed Looking at the world through the window, and see How it keeps moving on, be it day or night, Ever changing, both it and...

Looks can be deceptive What is visible might not be true There may be hidden feelings Some might not feel what they do. Who are we to judge? Who are we o comment? It’s better to keep our mouths shut. Than to later lament. We can’t see all, We don’t know everything There are hidden truths There are links within links. A . Human nature is to criticize, Human nature is to blame We love to prove ourselves right We love to put everyone to shame. We think we are the best We think we are always right This tampers with our judgment This narrows our sight. We love those who love us And we hate those who criticize We love o hear praises Even if they are all lies. We support those who praise us And ignore those who try to change us We don’t even stop to think, That the latter might be trying to help us! We are quick to blame But slow to forgive We are quick to hate But slow to love and let live. And then when it...

 Where did my childhood go? It went to some forgotten place, That is hidden in an infant’s face, That’s all I know.                                                                                       -          Marcus Natten I know i am not 25 or something and i havent really "lost" my childhood but i am trying to imply something else over here.  When we were small kids, like really small, it wasnt a crime holding a boy's hand. It wasnt a disgrace to walk or sit with your guy friends. When we were small kids, we could talk to anyone and everyone endlessly. On any topic. At that time we didn't stop to think whether we were offending someone or not. All were our friends....no hatred....no enemies..... Whe...

Love U India!!! Happy Independence Day India! :-) All over our country, people celebrate this day in different ways. Some hoist the Tricolour. Some watch Desh bhakti movies (Yeh, the same old Border and Lagaan and LOC Kargil and whatnot!). Some crib about it being a Dry Day (Yeh, seriously!). Then there are also people who are like, "Independence day? Yeh sure. As if anyone really cares about our country, as if we have a good govt., etc etc etc." And some who simply take 15 August as a holiday to enjoy or rest. I don't know to which group i belong. There are years when i actually wear a dress which has orange, green and white in it (i knw, lame). There are years me and my family actually listen to patriotic speeches and songs. But this year, I would simply like to sit back and marvel over our country and its citizens. And especially, salute the true leaders and fighters of our country. India is one country with a plethora of religions and languages. We say we be...

So there are days when i am on the top of the world. I feel like every thing's happening perfectly with me. I skip around for no particular reason and smile at every random incident. But then again there are days when i feel low. Low on confidence. Low on self esteem. Low on happiness. I wont crib by saying that the second type is more frequent than the first one, coz i know it isn't. More likely the ratio of my happy to sad days will be 10:1. But my problem is that when that 1 day does come, i forget every other happy memory. I just sit and cry. And nowadays, i just go numb. I have a lot of good friends. Friends who encourage me. Friends who keep me happy. But on these days, i need a friend who'll just sit with me and listen to my laments. A friend who will let me cry my heart out without offering advice to me. A friend who will listen to me blaming others without judging me. Simply, a friend who will not constantly tell me that this isn't the end of the world. Rathe...

More than often we try to judge people. Hell. We dont try. We judge. We form opinions. We think we know exactly what the person is all about. Oh so he didnt behave well wid me? I bet he's mean. Oh so he said he knew that answer when no one did? I bet he's a show off. Look, she has so many guy friends! A slut for sure. But do we stop to think? Do we wonder that maybe, just maybe, we are perceiving the person wrong? Maybe he's not all that bad. Nope. We dont. We just judge people in our mind. Chalo, no one has the right to tell us what to think and what to not. It becomes worse when we start spreading our opinion. Regardless of whether we are right or not, i dont think its right to say things about anyone in front of others. Then there's another thing i wonder. Have u ever tried to confront the person about his shortcomings? Maybe you are observing him wrong. Or maybe you are right. If u r right then dont u think its your responsibility to correct him rather than saying...

Hello People! I know....its been a while....but school reopened and i became too busy in school exams. To top it, there are regular exams in my institution as well and not to forget, LOADS of homework which of course i didn't do in the summer vacation (will i ever learn? sigh....). Anyways during the constant need to perform well in exams, i felt strongly about how much others expect from us, and even how much we expect from ourselves. So, i went through my poems and found one which i had written a while ago....it perfectly describes my state of mind right now. Expectations, expectations, Advises and suggestions everywhere. Expectations, expectations, Some are nice, but some are so unfair! Parents expect us to be ideal children, With no blundering around. They want us to obey everyone And maintain a respectful sound. Teachers expect us to be ideal students, Studying throughout the year. They want us to be masters in all subjects, From Algebra to Sha...

A Tribute                               Khuswant Singh wrote, "People can be divided into givers,takers,suckers and spongers" . My late nanaji, Mr. Rajender Jha was the biggest giver i met in my life. Nani tells me that he used to give his whole monthly salary to the poor even though they weren't very well off themselves and the whole family would then have to spend the month cutting their costs. He was a police officer, a man devoted to public service in the true sense of the word. The most royal person ever. He lived grand. And he died grand. He went on to the heavenly abode last year. There was grief on his death but we had all seen it coming. Had even prayed for it. Its difficult to see your loved one bedridden for a year. Unable to do anything on his own, struggling to live  just so because his family wanted him to. Ever read Shakespeare's Seven Ages poem? Nanaji perfectly described man in his...

          Hello guys...... just a word of caution. I tend to babble on...so ignore if you like "to the point" paragraphs. Somehow I never was able to write within the word limit in Eng paper!!! And once mam even cut my marks on account of the answer being too long!!! Its strange how everything has to be proper in this world....not a step out of line..not a word out of the world limit. Its difficult sometimes to do everything right up to the mark.....its difficult sometimes to live up to all the expectations....oh i am sorry....you see how i babble on?              Anyways, so back to who am I? I never was the kind of person who could simply stand up and introduce herself...I mean what am I supposed to say? Hello my name is Shrutika and I am studying Medical with Maths? (yeh....i can hear u guys exclaiming about how i am going to cope up with both Bio and Maths....but i simply love both the subjects!!) The one thing i hat...