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Low....

So there are days when i am on the top of the world. I feel like every thing's happening perfectly with me. I skip around for no particular reason and smile at every random incident. But then again there are days when i feel low. Low on confidence. Low on self esteem. Low on happiness. I wont crib by saying that the second type is more frequent than the first one, coz i know it isn't. More likely the ratio of my happy to sad days will be 10:1. But my problem is that when that 1 day does come, i forget every other happy memory. I just sit and cry. And nowadays, i just go numb.
I have a lot of good friends. Friends who encourage me. Friends who keep me happy. But on these days, i need a friend who'll just sit with me and listen to my laments. A friend who will let me cry my heart out without offering advice to me. A friend who will listen to me blaming others without judging me. Simply, a friend who will not constantly tell me that this isn't the end of the world. Rather, a friend who will just let me cry and tell me that i have every reason to be sad. No, i don't mean that i don't like people who have the ability to console others. I love such people. I envy them (coz i cant do more than a "there,there" like Sheldon). But on some days i don't need to be told that i am seeing this world wrong. That i am being hopeless. I need people who will let me self pity myself. But sadly, i cant find anyone like this right now.
Yes i know guys, the fault is within me. But one thing i can't handle is being criticised. I do take healthy criticism in a, well, "healthy" way. But negative comments given negatively are a big NO for me. And that's the reason why i cant stand being told that i shouldn't sit and cry. If i want to do something, i do it. Coz i feel its the right thing to do. At such times i don't take kindly to people telling me i am thinking wrong. Even if i am. That's coz i get grumpy when i am low. So just wait. Don't rush me. I'll be back to my chirpy self in a while. But in the time being, let me curl up and cry myself to sleep. Right now i feel nothing is good. That i am good for nothing. And so just let me be. 

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